"Everything pure must be broken," she said,
her smile tightening into a stranglehold.
and I began to feel the familiar cold
crawling across the floor and into my bed,
following the sweep of her dress over the threshold.
"Everything pure must be broken," she said,
her heels crunching the bones of dead,
men who never dreamt their story would be told
as the maudlin tale of a sad cuckold:
"Everything pure must be broken," she said.
--Geoffrey Philp--
***
My contribution to Read Write Poem #82
14 comments:
I very much like the rhythm of this piece as well as the content. For me it held a bit of the macabre, vanity of love, and capture. Thanks Geoffrey, great work.
DH
Welcome and thanks, Donald.
It's a bit of the beaten path for me, but it's one of those poems that has been *haunting* me for some time now.
Peace,
Geoffrey
you utilization of repetition serves this poem well. some very strong language in here " smile to stranglehold" that draws the reader in, a personal piece to reflect on. enjoyed. -lawrence
Welcome and thanks, Lawrence.
The form, which I learned from reading Fragano, has been very useful in composing these short poems.
Peace,
Geoffrey
This is beautifully done. I love the shift from the tercets in the first two stanzas to the quatrain in the last stanza, the building that your form accomplishes. So much is not said in this poem, but that leaves what is said so open, pregnant with meaning.
The sing-songy repetition makes this poem eerie! Awesome!
Dana, give thanks!
This is one of those forms that's like a villanelle which allows for repitition of an almost musical phrase.
1Love,
Geoffrey
I was left cold by your piece -- but that is good and is testament to how powerful this is. I love the feel and rhythm of it. Good write.
-Nicole
Mutiny in Six Parts
I love how one chilling/disturbing image follows another. Great job.
Dear Linda, Nicole & Erin, thank you for stopping by and leaving your comments.
At first, I had my doubts about the poem, but when I woke up on Thursday and saw the prompt at Read Write Poem, I took it as a sign...Voila!
Again, give thanks.
lovely piece. I really enjoyed the form you chose, the words; the repeated sound of "everything pure must be broken" is haunting.
Thanks & Welcome, Angie.
Beautifully crafted. I'm reading this in the tradition of the femme fatale. Well done.
Yes, they are wonderful, aren't they?
Give thanks for stopping by, Nathan.
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