By Geoffrey Philp
The kid was bawling his eyes red. The father,
towering over his son's small frame, screamed, "Man up! Man up!" I guess he was
trying to tell his son to be courageous. I don't think it was working. The more
the father thundered, the smaller the son became.
But I don't think the father was trying to be
cruel. Without the proper context, the father's actions in themselves don't make
him a bad father. For sometimes we need what my father used to call "intestinal
fortitude." But tears do not weaken us. In some cases, they may be a way of
mourning something that no longer serves our idea of who we are. But merely
saying "Man up," without an explanation is almost like a situation that I had
with my son.
My son was helping me to paint a wall in our home.
I showed him how to hold the brush and how to do some simple brushstrokes. Then,
I turned my back and began to work on my side of the wall. After a few minutes,
I sensed something was wrong. I turned around and my son had done an excellent
job of painting the wall, but the floor was splattered with paint. I was just
about to get angry when I remembered that I hadn't showed him that first he had
to cover the floor and then, begin painting. I had assumed that he would have
been following my example of putting down newspaper first and then, painting.
Boy, was I wrong.
That was one of the most important lessons I
learned as a young father. Never assume anything with your children. For
although that may be watching and listening, as I later learned that my daughter
listened to all of Bob Marley's CDs on her road trip from Seattle to Miami on
her way home, sometimes you have to spell it out for them.
So, here are a few of the things that I learned
from Bob Marley about being a man and hopefully, a good father.
"Dready's got a job to do and he's got to
full fill that mission." ("Ride Natty, Ride"). Bob's life was livicated
to love and he expressed his love through music. He had found his purpose
for living. Music was his life and his life was music. His values of
respecting his life and the life of others is what endeared him to many fans. He
just didn't sing his songs, he lived the words: "Every man got a right to decide
his own destiny" ("Zimbabwe").
"Most people think great God will come
from the sky/ Take away everything and make everybody feel high" ("Get up. Stand
up"). No one is coming to rescue you. Not your father, your mother,
uncle, aunt, niece, nephew, girlfriend, or boyfriend. Not even the mailman. It
may sound harsh, but like me, you're on your own in creating your life. So stop
waiting for miracles to happen, and for outside magical people and things to
save you. It ain't gonna happen. The only miracles are those that you will
create with your own two hands: ""But if you know what life is worth/You would
look for yours on earth /And now you see the light/ You stand up for your
right."
"If I am guilty, I will pay." ("I Shot the
Sheriff"). There comes a point in all our lives when we will have to face
the consequences of our actions. This isn't a bad thing. The more we take
responsibility for our actions by choosing to live and love ourselves and others
consciously, then our choices to live in the present expand and there are
rewards: "And what is to be must be."
"Forget your sorrows and dance." The
past will hurt you, but only if you let it. "Forget your troubles and dance."
And if you think these are idle words, listen again to "Them Belly Full (But we
Hungry)" on the Live Forever CD and realize that just hours before he
recorded that song, Bob had been told by his doctor that he only had a few
months to live. I can't think of a bigger problem than a physical death
sentence. Yet, after a three-hour sound-check where he sang, "I'm Hurting
Inside," over and over again, Bob went out and gave the performance of a
lifetime. "Them Belly Full" had always put my "sorrows" in perspective and Bob's
performance in Pittsburgh redefined courage for me. In the face of ill-health
and death, Bob continued to live joyously with the time he had: "Forget your
sickness and dance."
"Live for yourself, you will live in vain/
Live for others and you live again" ("Pass it on"). Your life is your story
and stories are never complete unless they are shared. Share your story by word
and example with those around you and those who will come after: "Help your
brothers in their need/ Pass it on."
So, keep your stories to yourself and shed a few
tears for the times you thought you'd be rescued and didn’t have to take
responsibility for your life. "Cry to me" over not living joyously in the
present or because you're afraid to do what you really want to do with your
life.
And then, man up!
Geoffrey Philp’s Blog Spot receives a percentage of the purchase price on anything you buy through links to Amazon, Shambala Books, Hay House, or any of the Google ads or Google Custom Search.
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